Korea: Good and Bad.

Hello. I felt it was about time I contributed my own entry to this blog. Having been a vehement anti-blogger for most of my 27 years, it's a big step (you need only click the "Random Blog" link above for an indication of the absolute dobbers who generally keep these things), but there are several reasons I've decided to lift my self-imposed ban.

I guess, first and foremost, we want to try and provide the sort of info we wanted to read before we came. Yes, there are plenty of ESL teacher bloggers, but after sifting through countless gushing posts about "hilarious" questions from students, the beauty of cherry blossoms and how liberating it is to prance about a jinjilbang in the buff, it becomes clear that down the line, practical info is not at the forefront of most blogger's minds. Secondly, we want to exchange good advice about what works and what doesn't work in the classroom, particularly if, like us, you feel you don't necessarily have the all-singing, all-dancing personality some people (e.g. 70% of those at the recent GEPIK orientation. Shudder.) would suggest you need to be a good elementary school teacher.

Of course we will interject it with the odd tale of what we've been doing, a blog wouldn't be a blog without a healthy dose of self indulgence, but we hope that it's at least a little bit more useful than merely a we did this, we did that diary.

So as Maureen covered extensively, the application process was long, hard and expensive, while the opening days were enough to make me nostalgic about my bi-weekly trips to Partick Jobcentre. Now, however, we are beginning to feel settled in South Korea. We have new friends, a decent gaff, a great social scene and I enjoyed probably the smoothest week of work since arriving. There are good and bad days, and today feels like one of the good guys.

Furthermore, having now been here for just over a month, we feel we're in a position to list some of the good and bad points of Korean life. These may well evolve throughout our time here, but having come here blindfolded ourselves, perhaps it will give other potential newcomers an insight into likely first impressions. It feels like as good a place to start as any, so without further ado:

GOOD - The people.
Ok, so you will be stared at and laughed at (particularly if you look the complete opposite of Korean, like me). If you're a man (or woman) sporting facial or arm hair, you can expect bemused strangers to come up and pull it. You can also expect to be barged on and off buses and subways, your neighbours to ignore you and to be left slightly repulsed by the half chewed food bouncing about your new Korean friend's mouth as they excitedly attempt to find out more about you. This is all just part and parcel of living here, regardless of nationality. However, the Koreans I've got to know well have been brilliant; enthusiastic, incredibly generous and unbelievably interested in where I am from. They are fiercely proud of their country as well, something I always like to see, and determined to make sure we leave with a good impression. There's a lot of unusual etiquette here; accepting gifts with two hands, not pointing chopsticks etc... but I've found that as long as you are respectful, Koreans will be respectful back. Learning a little bit of the language helps as well, even if it's just one or two phrases at first.

BAD - Spitting.
Imagine arse scratching was common practice in the streets of Scotland. Only it wasn't just jaikies and neds, but everyone; lawyers, teachers, business people, luvvies, OAPs, the lot. Now imagine that didn't just entail a subtle movement while nobody was looking but rather a blatant hand down the jeans and an almighty rummage with accompanying screwed up facial expression. Now picture the most inappropriate scenarios where this could happen; on a crowded subway, in a meeting, during an exam. Yup, you've just imagined the equivalent of spitting in Korea. It astounds me that so many Koreans, particularly woman, can spend so much time trying to look attractive, and then accompany their Gucci outfits and gravity defying heels with an almighty hawk and gob. The first time I met my principal, who should be regarded as God by me given the hierarchical nature of Korean society, he was mid-hawk. Rather than be embarrassed by this, he waited until I'd fully entered his office to unleash the sequel, as if to set the gauntlet down for a hawk off.

GOOD -
Food. Something Maureen and I differ on greatly. This is because while I sit there BBQing half a cow in the middle of my table before dunking it in dozens of different side dishes, Maureen will be at the other side miserably getting to grips with a bowl of soup with noodles. Koreans lack of tolerance for vegetarians is pretty appalling really but, while not everyone agrees, I think for meat eaters the food is tremendous. The food is pretty spicy but those used to Glaswegian curries will have no hassle getting to grips with it. Byeongjeom, our home, has a ridiculous amount of Korean restaurants as well as a handful of Chinese, Japanese and Italian. Eating out is the only option here and we will only cook when we're too tired to leave the flat. Oh, and if the idea of fermented cabbage doesn't excite you, it's probably best not to pencil in a trip to Korea for your summer holidays.

BAD
Pretense - You know those people who are more concerned with taking lots and lots of photos of themselves having a good time without actually having a good time? Well, that's like a microcosm of many aspects of Korean life. Something I noticed quite quickly here is that appearances are everything to most people. I'm not just talking about the women who never leave the house without half a ton of make-up and heels. Nor am I merely referring to the fact that people get plastic surgery here as if they were getting a haircut. I'm talking about the guys who walk up little more than a steep hill kitted out as if they were about to conquer everest. I'm talking about the fireworks and banners at K-League matches in which throw ins are celebrated as much as goals. And I'm also talking about kids' sports days across the country resembling the mass games. It got me thinking about the World Cup 2002, which is immortalised here. It's portrayed as being the greatest, most colourful competition in history yet people conveniently forget that South Korea progressed largely due to some of the most suspiciously awful refereeing decisions of all time. It's an attitude that's particularly prominent in the education system. Despite being relatively unmonitored for 99% of the time, it appears you must produce the goods when you are given an open lesson (a class in front of parents and peers). So essentially I could spend the year showing the kids Trainspotting and teaching them how to swear, as long as I put on a good show that day to appease their folks. I've heard plenty of more unsavoury stories about how this manifests itself but perhaps I should wait to see if I experience it first hand before speculating.

GOOD -
Cost of living. I'm penning this entry shortly after going to the cinema, buying popcorn and juice, eating my bodyweight in sushi and sides in a Japanese restaurant and having a 500ml bottle of beer. The cost? A tenner. That's right, the equivalent of three pints in the West End of Glasgow. Of course it's possible to spend whatever you like in Seoul, but if you want a cheap night you can have it. When the weather's nice, people tend to float around the liveliest areas drinking on the streets (it's completely acceptable here and newsagents will even put out tables and chairs for you to sit at) and there are plenty of great little street food stalls. Public transport is efficient, far-reaching and incredibly cheap. The subway stops at around midnight but you can book yourself a Love Motel (not half as sleazy as it might sound) for around 25-60,000 won (15 to 35 quid) or a jinjilbang, a Korean style bathhouse in which people are given pyjamas and a communal floor to sleep on, for even less. These pretty much need to be seen to be understood.

BAD -
Lack of bins. May sound like a bizarre one this but I'm fed up of my gradual morphing into the bagman of Byeongjeom. Time after time I will reach in my pocket to pay for something and produce an empty bottle, a bag of crisps and a Become A Christian flier. There are virtually no bins on the streets here so always remember to do a mass unloading when you visit any metro station.

GOOD -
Children. They work hard and they play even harder, and by that I mean they batter lumps out of each other. But generally speaking, the Korean kids are a good bunch. The bad eggs in my classes are not bad by Glaswegian standards; the worst they will do is chatter away and get up and wander about during the class. 40 of them can be hard to control but when you meet them in the streets or in the corridor by themselves they are all very excited and friendly. Consensus appears to be that grade 4 and 5s are the best to teach. The 6s are a little cocky while the 1, 2 and 3s are just thick as mince.

BAD -
My job. Emphasis on the "my" here. While others seem to have good deals, I've landed a rather unfortunate position within the GEPIK programme. You see, my school is a model school, meaning it's given more money by the provincial education office to try out things. As such they have employed three English teachers, the brilliantly-named Willem Pappendorf, a South African, the unfortunately-named Mi (pronounced me) Suk Yoo and me. Under GEPIK rules all English teachers are supposed to have a Korean co-teacher but as my school is so small, I don't .I teach all grades, parents and teachers but I don't teach the GEPIK curriculum which means I can't work with other GEPIK teachers. It's been daunting at first and given I teach 23 classes and have 18 to prepare from scratch, it's hard work. I've spoken to other teachers who teach the same three or four lessons the whole week. Discipline is the biggest problem, without speaking Korean or knowing how to write hangul, the best I can do is pathetically squeel anja (sit down!) or noon ga ma (shut your eyes) and then I'm out of ideas. At this stage, if the kids want to riot then there's nothing I can do about it. I've had some nightmare lessons; a boy almost fainting in class while I stood idly by, missing a minute's silence for the Cheonan disaster because I couldn't understand what anyone was saying and carnage in grade one class following a scrap. But I do think things are beginning to get better. I guess the most important thing is that I get on brilliantly with my colleagues. They've all helped me enormously and while my job may be tougher than most other GEPIK roles, I don't think I could have asked for a better team to be part of.

GOOD -
Drinking culture. When applying for a post here we were informed by our learned agents that we should reduce our already-laughable answer to the units of alcohol consumed question to two. This meant we enjoyed one pint a week. We're now of the opinion that this would reduce our chances of gaining employment in Korea. When I first met my principle (post-spit), he asked me, via translation, if I liked to drink alcohol. I said I did, but in moderation. He looked disappointed. Three weeks later, all the teachers were sitting in a classroom at 4pm eating meat, sinking shot of Soju, downing cans of beer and sipping rice wine. My principal would not let me stop eating or drinking. This is the Korean way. I've never seen a nation so fond of alcohol as they are here, and in particular their national drink, the aforementioned Soju, which tastes like a kind of past-its-sell-by-date vodka and is consumed with every meal. Interesting fact - the red bit of the Korean flag is actually representative of the colour of half the nation's faces on a Friday and Saturday night.

BAD
Touchy feely culture. In Korea, non-gay (aka straight) women will walk hand in hand; a little odd, but not staggeringly strange.

Straight men will also hold hands or hug each other; again, it wouldn't happen in Glasgow but not earth shattering

In school, I've seen two little boys hug each other and then kiss each other's heads; I've been informed that even for Korea this is a little odd but not as unusual as it would be in Scotland.

"So, Jim Davidson," I hear you roar, "what's wrong with that? Why's this one of your bads?" Well, I'd advise you to have a public shower and leave a soapy sponge sitting behind you. You'll see why then. No thank you.

BAD -
Gepik orientation. I feel this deserves a mention of its own. Now I must first of all stress this is by no means a criticism of GEPIK, who must have spent a good few bob putting us up in a pretty nice facility in the middle of the Korean countryside, provided a good few useful lectures (particulary for new teachers like me) and generally worked hard to provide a platform for us to meet other elementary teachers in the area. But that's just it, some of the other teachers.. While I met some great people I bonded with instantly and will definitely meet up with again if I haven't already, I met several disconcertingly odd exhibitionists who made me question, well, life in general. The demo lesson section was David Brentastic, while the less said about Handsome Ho (sic) and the team building session, the better. A rather large part of me died that night;

"This must be what it feels like when an incest survival group meets", Brian, our friend from Birmingham, when five final night survivors met up in Suwon for a curry post-orietation.

GOOD -
Social scene. It would be wrong to end this entry with anything other than a positive because, despite my moans, there's no doubting Korea is a fantastic place to live and work, thanks in no small part to the social scene. Koreans like to have a good time and unsurprisingly Seoul is pretty much a 24 hour city. The expat scene is thriving and most in this area descend to Hongdae, a studenty suburb, or Itaewon, a foreigner haven packed full of American soliders, at the weekend. I much prefer the former, although the latter is like the city's Sauchiehall Street; despite your best intentions, you know you'll be back at some point. Whatever you want to do you're never short of options and there are constantly Facebook groups cropping up inviting us to events across the country, so much so, the hardest part is often choosing what to do. This weekend we're probably heading to the bars of Byeongjeom on Friday and then Insadong in Seoul on Saturday for a traditional celebration, staying over until the Sunday.

So yeah, I may not have found the Korean Tennent's as of yet (although the number of Korean drongos would suggest it does exist), but it's still a good life nonetheless.